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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Black Sabbath

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Geezer ButlerLook how people pay money to see scary movies, we should try writing scary music and change our name to Black Sabbath?

~ Geezer Butler - Click to Watch Sample
Black Sabbath
In 1969, the British Police closed the case file on Terence Michael Joseph "Geezer" Butler (his nickname supposedly arose from a habit as a teenager of referring to everyone as "Geezer"). The recent death of the thirty year old was ruled misadventure. Other members of the band Earth provided a more sinister explanation based on recent occultist influences the band had been flirting with.

According to the vocalist John Michael “Ozzy” , the band had been working on a new signature tune “Black Sabbath” which was inspired by an experience that Geezer Butler related to Osbourne. Geezer had painted his apartment matte black and placed several inverted crucifixes on the walls. Then, one day, Ozzy brought round a book about Witchcraft, which Geezer became extremely fascinated by. One night, he read the book and fell asleep. He recalled waking up and seeing a black figure and, as he put it, "cr*pped myself". He then told Ozzy, who wrote the lyrics to what would become Black Sabbath: "What is this that stands before me? Figure in black which points at me". He repeated the story over the coming weeks before being found death by Osbourne. Even though he had just turned thirty, his hair was completely white. And the witchcraft book was missing. The lyrics are available at at Lyricsdomain
~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 2008, English-born Canadian Steve Payne was sued by BlueberryPie for alluding to Freudian motives for owners of the EyeFone Quartz Midnight who he suggested suffered from Psychosexual under-development. Simon Works the President of BlueberryPie dismissed this recalcitrant as a “lowser that wants larting*. The guy should spend less time in the Muffin shop dizzing the product and more time down the gym working off those six bellies where you could tuck a dozen EyeFones and smuggle them out of the country”.

~ entry by Co-Historian Steve Payne

Larting: Lowser-Attitute-Readjustment-Tool e.g. Soft baseball bat over the head, term of alleged empathy used by IT staff all over the world to describe “challenged” end users.

In 2002, Chris Bunch's Tarnished Glory contemporaries Custer and Patton were appointed to Supreme Allied Command following a plane crash killing Eisenhower and Bradley. Much like the appointments of Hindenburg and Ludendorff to German High Command in World War I, the dynamics of war-time had delivered an unexpected historic opportunity that was seized by second choice mavericks.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2010, techno tragedy struck down a talentless middle-aged author in the wilds of Canada. For many years, the deceased had been guilty of "eating the shopping". This obscure crime involved premature consumption of the goodies part of the weekly groceries. Recently, the fridge had been micro-chipped with a Java appliance which automatically re-ordered shopping items for home delivery as they approached minimum stock levels. Predictably, this device had unleashed a six month binge.

Colleages from the Academy paid their respects, indicating that the Co-Historian had copied Editor's note: Surely "created"? some quality work before his fingers had become infeasibly porky, preventing the effective use of Control-C, Control-V. Some of his better plagiarisms were run on the Today in Alternative History web site for a week of tributes.

~ entry by Steve Payne.

In 2002, RM Muleuch published Twelve Legions of Angels. Disgraced Air Marshall Hugh Dowding challenges the conventional wisdom that the Big Wing theory was doomed, asserting that a Battle of Britain could have been won.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Admiral Tirpitz
Admiral Tirpitz
In 1991, on this day Robert K Massie published U Boat: Britain, Germany, and the Coming of the Great War. Massie begins with the birth of Queen Victoria, and follows the chronology of the royal families of Europe, culminating in the unification of Germany ..
.. by Bismarck and the crowning of Kaiser William II. With the stage set, Massie describes the series of people and events that contributed to the ultimate outbreak of war, including Alfred von Tirpitz and his ultimately successful plan to starve the British into defeat by sinking their convoys.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, on this day “The Dawn of Liberation” was published, containing Churchill's 1944 speeches on the road to victory, from "Preparation, Effort in Resolve” to "Hope for Victory” as part of the three volume definitive edition, “The War Speeches”. The events of “Churchill's Last Stand” .. Winston Churchill
Winston Churchi..
.. are described in some detail. Churchill pinpoints the key moment as the creation of the State of Israel from the British Mandate in Palestine, an act which forged the alliance with Moshe Dayan's Hagannah forces. Heavily supported by Indian and Australian divisions, Bernard Montgomery created the first truly multinational army which triumphed over the Axis powers over the course of the next two glorious years.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1923, Amerindian explorers had landed in Andalusia to find a fallen civilization. After a day's march, they discover the truth. When Cristoforo Colombo returned on March 15 1493, he and his men spread the Smallpox, typhus, influenza, diphtheria, measles, malaria, and other epidemics that had plagued them since first contact. ..
.. The pandemic had resulted in the depopulation of the continent.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1976, offices of the publisher Doubleday in New York City are closed by an executive order of President George Wallace and Vice President Curtis LeMay. Copies of “Roots: The Saga of an American Family” are seized just two hours before publication. Federal Agents commanded by Chief Investigator Oliver North order .. Roots
.. staff at gunpoint to recall copies from retail outlets throughout America. In a televised speech that evening Wallace denies charges of Jim Crow censorship. Alleging that the book was a blatant copy of a work of fiction, “The African” by Harold Courlander, Wallace said he had a duty as President to prevent bicentennial celebrations planned for the following year to be ruined by a “cheap piece of plagiarism”.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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